If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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