Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
