I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
