Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
