My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
