peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
