Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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