absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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