if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
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