Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
