Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
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shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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