I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The Olympian is in my bed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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