i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
