I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
