I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
