Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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