Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize