remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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