I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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