Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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