I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Is it because I queefed?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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