The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
