So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
