You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
