in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think people are normalizing furries
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
