Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
