i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
