someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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