it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
