If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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