i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
