I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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