I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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