If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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