She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
