Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
