You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
