We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize