Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
