I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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