To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
50% drunk capacity currently
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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