rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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