Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
