This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just gift wrapped bread.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize