why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
