WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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