ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
