So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize
