I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
