Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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