Fuck appropriateness.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
