Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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