For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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