mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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