You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
