I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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