U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
