brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
