i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
