She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
